MMSD Inspires

Flushing Moratorium Sparks Slew of Innovative Plans

[Milwaukee, Wisc…]The Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District’s appeal to limit water usage during periods of heavy rain may have started a trend.

“Our inability to do our job has really paved the way for others,” said MMSD spokesperson Harvey Floater. “We’re happy to see that our ‘Please Don’t Poop’ plan has spurred additional innovations.”

During periods of expected heavy traffic, the State Department of Transportation will immediately begin closing all on-ramps on freeways in several counties in Southeastern Wisconsin.

“We’ve found that the problem with traffic centers around too many cars, vans and buses on the freeways,” said DOT Spokesperson Lotta Orangkohns. “So, rather than add additional capacity, or tinker with traffic flow patterns, we’re just going to cut out the middleman and address the traffic directly. MMSD provided a brilliant blueprint for those of us who can’t do the jobs we promised the public we’d do.”

While the DOT on-ramp closure effort is the only effort already underway, there are several additional “pass the buck” initiatives being considered in the wake of MMSD’s “Please Don’t Poop” plan.

Many social service agencies in Milwaukee are considering asking their clients to avoid being poor and needy during times when there are shortages in area food pantries.

“If some of these so-called hungry could just skip eating for a few days, our supply of non-perishable food items would last much longer,” said area volunteer Jack Smith. “If the MMSD can ask the users of their services to limit the use of their services because the MMSD can’t actually provide those services, why can’t we do the same thing?”

On Thursday MMSD also unveiled their new marketing slogan, MMSD: Lacking the Capacity to Serve Your Needs. The District had to cancel a planned downtown press conference announcing the new marketing campaign, because MMSD has a continuing problem working as promised whenever it rains.

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Parody Alert.