The Reform Agenda

The following conversation did not take place. I made this up. I am not trying to infer anything. I mean, really, do you think something this cynical would really happen?

"Look, I'm not going to talk - the reviews are being made. We are cooperating in every way we can with the reviews. . . . You can talk to those conducting the reviews."

[Door closes]

“Um, Governor, that’s not going to look to good tomorrow when that comment hits the papers. Or, worse yet, when those damn bloggers hop all over it.”

“Bloggers? Oh is that like that thing Christofferson’s been doing since Susan changed the locks on the door?”

“Anyway, Governor, we need to do something about this. Between your comments, the ongoing investigations in DC and into our own issues here at home, the public is pretty sensitive to appearance of impropriety and your comments make it look like you’re agitated.”

“I am agitated.”

“But the world doesn’t need to see you that way.”

“So now what?”

“Time to unveil our reform agenda.”

“We have a reform agenda?”

“We will by the end of the day.”

[Group chuckles]

“What’s going to be in our reform agenda?”

“Ban third party expenditures like what the tribes are going to do, prevent using mandatory union dues for political purposes, prohibit contributions from folks who may have business before the Administration.”

[Dramatic Pause]

“I’m just keeeding!!!”

[Muted laughter]

“That’s not even remotely funny.”

“Anyway, don’t worry, we’ll cobble together a bunch of legislative proposals that are already out there. They won’t really hurt us, but will make it look like we’re doing something.”

“Make it bipartisan. People like it when we’re bipartisan. Those WMC ads even said so!”

“Yeah, we’ll get Ellis on board, maybe Freese, too.”

“Ellis and who?”

“Don’t worry about it, Governor, we’ll fix this.”

“Excuse me, Governor, Stan Johnson’s on the line.”

“Take a message.”

“What?”

“I’m just keeding!!! Put him through”

[Laughter]