Democrats Don’t Get It, B’Gosh
Their governor garnered just 45% in defeating perhaps the most ill-prepared, rudderless person ever to sit in the East Wing. Their attorney general will most likely be primaried by one of the few stars of their Party. Their caucus in the state assembly is at a record low membership. Their congressional numbers fell during both the mid-term elections in 2002 and again while sharing the ballot with a supposed unpopular president engaged in an unpopular war.
Would the delegates please stand and welcome to our 2005 Democrat Convention the ghosts of Hubert Humphrey, George McGovern, Walter Mondale, Al Gore and John Kerry!
Get the picture?
From the floor of their convention in Oshkosh this weekend, Democrats will be high-fiving and passing atta-boys for their platform endorsing everything immoral from embryonic stem cell harvest and abortion on demand, to gay marriage and euthanizing Terri Schiavo.
And they will all share the crazy notion that they are winning.
The truth is, the Democrats are in crisis because their Party has lost their moral compass. Take the Schiavo episode; Democrats will point to polls indicating Republicans over-reached and will pay for it at the next election.
This theme will also be packaged against Republicans vis-à-vis our Party’s ban on embryonic stem cell collection, as well as our appointments of conservative justices. Have no fear Republicans. Rhetoric and history is not on their side.
New Deal Democrats no longer run their Party. FDR tackled the Great Depression by selling his jobs programs in terms of holding government morally accountable. Later, LBJ pushed Civil Rights legislation because he believed it morally wrong, “deadly wrong, to deny any of your fellow Americans the right to vote in this country.”
Soon after, those moral Democrats lost their Party to the Woodstock counter-culture who once shouted, "Hey, hey, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?" Today, those hippies write Party platforms hostile to the sanctity of marriage.
It is not that I believe Republicans are more pious than Democrats. How could I, having seen hypocrisy within the walls of my own church? However, most Americans are church-going, hard-working people with a value system that speaks quietly to their conscience. The Democrat Party is deaf to those whispers.
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"Governor-Killer" Once Again Leading WI GOP
Madison, WI Not more than a month after being reelected the chairman of the state's Republican Party, Rick Graber says he is ready and eager to help orchestrate the downfall of yet another Wisconsin governor. "I am happy to be back serving the GOP for another four years," said Graber, an ardent Barney Fife fan in real life. "Our constituency has decided to go with experience in defeating this current governor and it is my ardent hope that I can help de-throne him like I did the last one."
The governor-terminating event that Graber is boasting about is that of former Governor Scott McCallum, the Republican incumbent who was beaten by a Democrat in 2002.
"Under Governors Tommy Thompson and Scott McCallum, Wisconsin was under the iron grip of the Republicans for an unprecedented 16 years," said one senior staffer. "But Rick never gave up and eventually he found a way to chip away at their leadership to break up the monopoly."
Just how Graber did it remains a mystery. Some insiders say it was the way he expertly excluded conservative voices from the party. "Once, he scheduled the Resolutions Committee Meeting in the backwoods on the Wolf when it was at Stage 4," offered another politico, referring to the popular white-water canoe river. The Resolutions Committee is where many grassroots activists get to vote on the party's platform. "That was classic! Not a lot of old geezer pro-lifers were able to make it to that one."
But the popular wisdom holds that it was insider-politics that did McCallum in. One source, who wishes to be known only as "Deep Sausage", made himself available to validate this fact. "Rick managed to pull off a coup and got me onto the governors re-election committee as a double-agent," DS reminiced. "Once there, I played absolute havoc as his campaign manager." Suddenly, DS's eyes got big as he realized his faux pax. "Oops, I mean I wasn't his campaign manager. Don't print that, OK?"
DS then went on to explain in detail how he was slowly able to erode McCallum's no-nonsense convictions by softening his message and having him continually compromise and backtrack. "Yeah, when he took over as governor he was saying stupid stuff like 'Wisconsin will be a pro-life state', but by the end of the campaign we had him eating out of our hand and he was saying 'No comment' instead. No conservative voted for him after that."
Among his top goals for the coming term, Graber said he plans on getting rid of traditional get-out-the-vote initiatives like canvassing, phone banks and commercials because they cost too much money. When asked what he would do instead to defeat the current Democrat, Graber proudly declared the press release would be his weapon of choice. "Its impossible to stand up to the withering fire of sharp criticisms and mocking tones that I am able to put out. After a few more years of this, the guy will be toast and we won't have spent a cent."
When asked for a comment, a spokesman from the governors office agreed. "With Graber running things, it looks like we won't have to spend a cent, either."
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